i believe...black and white

I was 15 years old when I had to go to an air plane hanger with my father to watch my brother Michael board a plan and fly to Iraq.

I was shell shocked at first everyone was forcing fake smiles trying to consciously forget what the next hour would bring. All the military personal was scattered throughout the crown in there camo ironically sticking out like a sore thumb within each little clique of the crowd.

I was in a spellbound feeling of unbelief, there is no way this is actually happening. I chocked back stinging tears and at 15 years I held my dads hand both of us taking what little comfort we could from out firm grasp. To try and distract myself from my perfectly uniformed brother, I looked into the crowd and I saw something that made my choked back tears flow freely. Mother’s making there sons promise to come home safely. Spouses unwilling to let go of their other half. Children confused and frustrated asking where there mom or dad was going.. moments that have stood still inside my mind as small black and white movies.

My dad, bother and I hugged one last time and that was it, the plane lifted off and he was gone…

Well as sad as that was I’m so lucky to see the opposite of this, all of them coming home. This time around I saw waves of joy and happiness. I felt love all around me radiating like the suns heat off of everything giving the large spacious room and odd glow. There was also a long heavy sigh, like everyone was holding there breathe, it was the sound of relief.

I believe in black and white. These two scenarios of my life has taught me so much. Not only did I see love, and heard relief. I learned that without despair there is no hope. Without anxiety there is no relief. I learned so much in two separate days spanned by two years, then I have in my entire life. Without seeing pain and despair did I really learn and appreciate the soldiers coming home. I learned what the ancient Buddhist learned centuries ago the belief in yin and yang and it has never been so much clearer to me then right now, opposing forces are bound together and intertwined to create life.